Front: The perks of being over 50
Inside: People call up at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
You sing along to elevator music.
Your eyes won’t get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience. Happy birthday!
Inside: People call up at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
You sing along to elevator music.
Your eyes won’t get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience. Happy birthday!